Completely Random

So I went to the BYU homepage today, and was greeted by this picture and caption.

Pepper spray may deter bear attacks better than guns.

The guy is holding two polar bear cubs with the mom knocked out next to him, and all they can say that it "may deter bear attacks"?! I think if the situation ends up with the bear unconscious, you can safely say it IS effective. Next time I go camping in bear country, I'm bringing whatever it is they are selling.

A New Link

I have added a new link on my links list. It is a blog called "stuff white people like." It is a satire of trends in the upper-middle class white community. Maybe you have heard about it, maybe you haven't. I think it is hilarious, and more often than not I am guilty as charged. You should check it out, but remember that it is a joke, and that it should be taken as such.

An Amusing(?) Anecdote

I am sure I am not the only person in the world that gets these emails. You know the ones that I mean. They are usually about some family relation, and are supposed to teach us some uber-valuable lesson that would have been impossible for us to learn unless we got that very email. I have put a copy of a story from an email forward from an old mission buddy of mine.

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.

He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and
didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?'

She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.'

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to the Republican party.'

If anyone has a better explanation of the difference between Republican and Democrat - I'm all ears.

So there are several reasons that I take issue with this kind of story. First, it is very obvious that this story is about as factual as Battlefield Earth. This whole thing probably never actually happened. The story was made up to simply prove a point. I am all about learning from personal experiences, and I will readily admit that well-written literature can be very convincing, but this kind of email forward is neither well-written, or true, and so it loses all persuasive ability for me.

The second issue that I have with this type of argument is that it takes a complex issue, in this case the difference between democratic and republican parties, and makes it into something where there is only one choice. I don't know much about politics, but I am sure that the democratic party is not all about the redistribution of wealth through higher taxes, and I am sure that the republican party stands for more than just letting people hold onto their wealth. If the parties were different in only one regard, then there would be no need for political or presidential debates to discuss different standpoints on issues. You can be a democrat that supports lower taxes, and you can be a republican that supports government aid programs. Isn't it our responsibility to make sure that everybody has a chance to get an education? I think that programs that support people that are making an honest effort are to be commended, not deplored.

Third, the story makes extreme assumptions. Not only does the author ignore important issues to simplify a complicated argument, but the analogy drawn between the hard working student and the party girl is very polarizing. You read the story and are left with only one option, to agree. You are made to think, "Well, she deserves those grades because she worked hard!" But there are flaws with the underlying assumptions for the argument. The argument assumes that everybody that works hard gets good grades, and that everybody with good grades works hard. It then equates grades to wealth. If everybody that worked hard was wealthy, then we would not having the term "working poor," and if everybody that was wealthy worked hard, then Paris Hilton wouldn't be wealthy.

I could go on about this for days (just ask Roni), but I think you get where I am going here. This email doesn't make me want to run out and join the GOP, it makes me glad I am associated with no particular party. Then again, maybe that is just my college education polluting my way of thinking.

You Know What Else?

So my last post got me thinking about elementary school, and all the things that were great about it. I liked how in elementary school you always get to go to assemblies. They happened so often! Everything from Doctor Seuss Week to Saint Patrick's Day got an assembly. My favorite type of assembly was the student of the month, it was hard to compete with that. Not only do you get a certificate, but I think you got pencils and stuff too. Maybe even candy. What else can a kid need?

The Bday

So you know when you are in kindergarten, or first grade, and it is your birthday, you get to bring cupcakes to everybody in your class? I wish we still did that when we are grownups, because it pretty much made you the coolest kid. I'm sure it was a horrible time for the mothers that had to make the cupcakes, or cookies, but I think the awesomeness makes up for the sacrifice.

Things I Will Never Understand

As my four year stint at BYU comes to and end, I am left with a few things that still boggle my mind.

Pink for Guys- Now, I understand that originally pink polos were popular because it was showing everybody that you were secure in your manliness, kind of like being cool with giving a guy friend a hug. But like many fads, things quickly degraded. It was not long before life was like a scene from a very pink horror story. Pink belts, pink backpacks, pink shoes, and yes, even pink pants for guys were to be seen. I was glad when the pinkification of men's apparel slowly faded, but I am still amazed (read appalled) when I see some people clinging desperately to their pinkness. Big weightlifters wearing pink somehow seems more o.k than emo kids wearing pink. (I was going to say scrawny emo kids, but that seems a bit redundant)

Shirts that say things like "I pooed" - Do I really need to explain why this is confusing? Unless this is some sort of major achievement, then why announce it to the world? Wait, even if it is a big accomplishment, I don't want to hear about it. I'm not against humorous shirts; there are a lot of shirts that say weird and funny stuff, but then there are these types of shirts. I am sure you know what I mean. Maybe these people are trying to seem "unique" at a very conformist BYU, but... if pooing is what makes them unique... I dunno about that.

PDAs - And I don't mean personal digital assistants. I am not even going to bother with the cliche "go get a room" response here, because, let's face it they can't. I also want to make it very clear that I am not talking about a peck on the cheek from your significant other before you head to class. I am talking about full-on making out in the quad. Why do people do it? If theyreally need to reach their daytime make out quota, then why don't they go somewhere secluded on campus? Don't they know that the art garden is WAY less trafficked than the middle of campus? There is a time and place for everything, and the middle of the walkway in the middle of campus in the middle of the day is not the time OR place for making out. Oh, and get a room.

Mustaches - I get it, these guys don't like the honor code, but they have to keep it. And I think we all know that people can get away with having a mustache at BYU. But, people need to realize that there are several types of mustaches. Not all of them are created equal. Some people look dignified with a neatly trimmed mustache, while others look like they need to be locked away. Very far away. If someone really must have a mustache, then please keep it tidy.

HFAC people - The HFAC is the Fine Arts College at BYU. I admire the artwork that students are allowed to post, and I enjoy BYU's many performances which occur in the center (maybe not so much for the modern dance routines). But you have to admit, there are some weird people in there. I am glad that these people are really "into the art" or whatever, but when they walk by me playing air guitar, and singing along at the top of their lungs to whatever rock opera they are listening to on your iPod, well... it kind of creeps me out.

I could go on for a while longer, but really, there could probably be an entire blog about BYU oddities.

"5Buck" Pizza

Dear 5Buck Pizza,

I am writing to you today in an attempt to help you see how little sense you make. The name of your company is "5Buck Pizza" and the slogan, which appears on every coupon, every store front, and every sign, is "All Toppings Free." When I first came to Utah and saw your store, I thought that it had to be some kind of gimmick. There was simply no way that you could get a "super premium pizza" for 5 bucks.

I was pleasantly surprised when I ordered Pizza from you, not only was it really 5 bucks, your stores used fresh toppings, and tasty dough. This was a win win situation. Not only could I get a top notch pizza, but I could get it for 5 bucks plus tax. I thought I would be a lifetime customer (well, at least as long as I was stuck in Utah).

Then the unthinkable happened. 5Buck pizza was no longer 5 bucks. I understood that the rising price of corn drove up the cost of milk (cows have to eat right?), and I thought it would be only a temporary price hike. After all, a one topping pizza was still 5 bucks, and if you wanted more toppings you would have to pay a dollar more. Not to mention the obvious, but your company name was still "5Buck Pizza." So what if you were no longer "home of the free toppings," you still made a great pizza that was worth the extra dollar for fresh toppings.

Then the DOUBLE unthinkable happened. Even though the price of milk in the grocery store had gone back down, you did not lower your prices. In fact, you raised them again. Doesn't this seem a little ridiculous? Now, the basic pizza (one topping) was 7 dollars. 7 dollars?!?! But the name remained "5Buck Pizza!!" It is even more ridiculous when you realize that you don't have a single pizza on your menu that is 5 bucks! Your small is 4 bucks, your medium is 7, and your large is 10!

Even this great injustice was palpable, because we still got coupons with every pizza. These coupons allowed us to get a large pizza for 7 bucks, which was great. But now, what may be the greatest injustice of all. We called to order a pizza today, and were told that you no longer accept coupons. In fact, I believe you said that the coupons we had were expired. When we mentioned that they don't have an expiration date, all you could say was "those expired 5 weeks ago."

So, how does your company make any sense? You used to be the best deal in town because "5Buck Pizza" was 5Bucks. But now you cost as much as Domino's pizza. I am now so disheartened with your company that it is doubtful that I will buy your pizzas any longer. It is like going to your favorite burger place, only to find out that though the name is "Burger Czar" you now only sell dirt. Nasty dirt. Nasty dirt that costs more than a burger.

Please go back to the good ol' days when you name made sense, and your logo wasn't a lie. Or change your company name. Either way will work.

Sincerely,
The Romgi

Vactor 21000 series

Today, I saw something truly amazing. I was working on a school assignment when I heard something loud this morning. Very loud. Now, today is trash day, so I first thought that it was just the trash getting picked up. The noise continued for minutes, it sounded like a some large street sweeper, but it was taking much to long to be a normal street sweeper. In fact, it was taking too long to even be a garbage man. I then realized that the trash had already been picked up nearly an hour earlier.

It wasn't until I walked outside that I saw the Vactor 2100.

This beast of a machine was moseying down the street. The huge pipe that you see at the top of it was swung out, and a large tube was attached to it. A guy was holding the tube, walking down the street sucking up all the dead leaves that have been around since October. In essence, he was vacuuming the road. As I walked to school, I could hear this thing sucking away from almost two blocks away. I couldn't help but think, "I wonder what this thing could do for my carpet!"

The next time a kirby vacuum sales guy tries to sell me a vacuum, and he tells me that the kirby is the best vacuum around, I am going to look him in the eye, and say to him, "Really? But how does it compare with the Vactor 2100 parked in my living room?"

Live Search Club Saga Continues (indefinitely)

I don't know how many of you have been following my Club Live story. I have been periodically emailing Club Live, in hopes that I will someday be allowed to get an update on my order. Well the latest email from them isn't really any more satisfying:

Dear Live Search Club Participant,

Thank you for contacting Live Search Club Support. Unfortunately, your prize(s), due to popular demand, is/are on back order and we have no estimated shipping date. Please note, after an order is placed, it is then processed for compliance with our Terms and Conditions for fair game play. After an order is processed and found to be in compliance, you will receive a second shipping confirmation email with any relevant shipping and tracking information

Kind Regards,

Live Search Club Support

So, I picked a popular prize. I really wonder when (and if) I will ever be getting my Zune. I placed my order about six months ago now, and they are just now telling me that they have no idea when it will actually ship. I guess I should count my blessings though, at least they didn't accuse me of being a cheater.

Still Life With Rice

I am taking a Korean History class, and as part of the work for the course, we are assigned to read a book about Korea. We were given great liberty in what we could read, and a good friend of mine recommended Still Life With Rice by Helie Lee.

I really liked the book, and I highly recommend it to anybody who is interested in learning about how the role of a Korean woman has changed in the past 100 years. Actually, I would recommend it to just about anybody. It covers the life of the author's grandmother, from her birth during the Japanese occupation, through the liberation of Korea and the Korean war, and up to her life in America.

I liked the book for two reasons. First, it reminded me of how much the Korean people have gone through in a relatively short period of time. Second, it made me realize how much life and society can change in the course of a lifetime. It made me wonder what life will be like when I am 80.